I’ve found a lump on my testicle but I need my violent ex by my side for check-upMarch 24, 2019
DEAR DEIDRE: RECENTLY I found a lump on my testicle but I will only see the doctor if my ex is by my side. It’s difficult because we’re no longer speaking.
I am 35 and was with my partner for 12 years. She is 31. It was a violent relationship where she used to get angry and take it out on me.
I kept saying I believed she was still seeing her ex behind my back. Her response was to insist I saw my doctor because I was paranoid.
When I found proof that she had been sleeping with her ex throughout our relationship I finally left her.
But I still love her and have no interest in getting medical help without her support. I am 100 per cent sure of that.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I can well understand how scared and desperate you feel, but your ex can’t be held responsible for your well-being.
Your relationship was abusive. Wanting to get back with her and delaying seeing your GP are both ways of self-harming.
Get this lump checked out immediately and find support to understand why you value yourself so little.
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