I am pregnant by my loser boyfriend’s best mate after drunken night and I’m in such a messFebruary 22, 2019
DEAR DEIDRE: I GOT carried away and had sex with my boyfriend’s best mate. Now I am pregnant and it’s a complete disaster.
Both of these guys are a waste of space.
My boyfriend is away serving in the Army but has got into all sorts of scrapes with his friend — including drugs — since they were teenagers.
They are both 23, while I’m 21. This mate is the more sensible of the two. He has some sort of ambition in life, at least.
I wish my boyfriend was more like his mate, though I do love him.
We’ve been together since I was at school and he is all I’ve got.
My mum threw me out when she moved her latest boyfriend in.
I was lonely because my boyfriend was away, so I invited the friend to our flat.
We met in the queue at the fish and chip shop, so it seemed the friendly thing to chat.
My boyfriend had not been in touch for a while.
When I told his mate, he said my boyfriend didn’t value me as he should.
We had both been smoking weed and sharing a few drinks and I started to see him in a different light.
I said he could stay the night.
The flat has just the one bedroom. He offered to sleep on the sofa but I said he would surely be more comfortable sharing with me.
Within minutes of turning out the light we were naked and kissing.
I didn’t worry about using protection because I was still on the Pill.
In the morning, we had sex again and agreed to start an affair.
Then he left. I began to feel guilty about cheating on my boyfriend over the next few days and I was relieved to discover my boyfriend’s mate felt guilty too.
We decided to not keep seeing one another and say nothing to my boyfriend.
I thought that was the end of it but I did a pregnancy test when my period was late and it was positive.
I knew I’d forgotten a couple of pills but thought it would be OK.
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It can’t be my boyfriend’s because the dates don’t tie up with when he was last at home.
It is all such a mess but I don’t feel I can have a child that is not my boyfriend’s.
Would it be cowardly to get an abortion?
DEIDRE SAYS: It is not cowardly to have a termination when the alternative is a baby coming into an unhappy home without two loving parents.
My e-leaflet on Unplanned Pregnancy will help you think this through.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
Don’t waste any time – an early termination is very different to a late one.
You say your boyfriend is all you have – but you have yourself and should focus on living the most fulfilling life possible.
Break with both these men and follow your ambitions.
You can go places if you set your mind to it.
Get in touch with Deidre today